Paleo Chef

chipotle pork shoulder.

2009-08-02T14:22:00.006-04:00

i'm slowly settling in to my new place in vancouver, bc. it may be only 25 miles over the border, but it's all the ~~hassle~~ joy of moving abroad.

(perhaps) needless to say, my furnished apartment is lacking some of the comforts of kitchen home, including a crock-pot. but i jimmy-rigged an ersatz one by putting a dutch oven on low heat on the stovetop for several hours and ended up with a tasty, tasty pot of pork.

CHIPOTLE PORK SHOULDER

1 pork shoulder (preferably bone-removed)
1/4 c chipotle powder
1/2 onion, coarsely chopped
1 cup water

put all the ingredients into a dutch oven and cover.
heat over high heat until water boils, then reduce to low.
cook roughly 2 hours.

optional: you can chop the pork into large chunks before you put it into the pot, to speed cooking time.
alternatively: when (the whole) shoulder starts to look more "done", you can pull it apart into large chunks with a fork, which is what i did.

serve with drippings from the pan as its own sauce.

spinach muffins (and chocolate sauce).

2009-07-15T09:37:00.004-04:00

these can go sweet or savory. i've been enjoying them with chocolate sauce (see below). as counterintuitive as it may seem, spinach and chocolate are a natural pairing. (it must be all the iron.)

SPINACH MUFFINS

1 lb frozen spinach, thawed and drained
12 eggs
1/3 - 1/2 c coconut flour
2-3 T coconut oil

preheat over to 350.
dump all the ingredients into a blender and whizz the hell outta them.
pour into a muffin tin (preferably silicone, but 12 regular-sized).
bake for ~30 minutes, or until puffed and not visibly wet.

i haven't tried it, but i imagine this to be one of those recipes that will accomodate infinite variation: add spices of choice (garlic, or dill, or...), add nuts (toasted/chopped pine nuts would be delish...), add meat (BACON anyone??). you get the drift. or, if you wanted to take it in the sweet direction, you could add a little stevia and chocolate chips, or raisins and cinnamon. mmmmm, raisins and cinnamon.

or, you could just do as i did, and serve it with chocolate sauce.

CHOCOLATE SAUCE

1 T cocoa
1 packet stevia
a few T hot water

stir well. if you accidentally dilute it too much, you can either add more cocoa/stevia, or add in a little coconut flour to thicken it up.

paleo gummi.

2009-07-12T15:55:00.003-04:00

were you as much of a gummi freak as i was, as a child (cough adult cough)? i even turned a blind eye to the contents when i lived in germany in college - which, yes, would have been smack-dab in the middle of my 15-year stint as a vegetarian.

well, i'm CERTAINLY not a vegetarian anymore!

PALEO GUMMI

2 packs knox unflavored gelatin
1 c (or less) water
2 T (or less) juice of choice (lime or lemon, or else juice concentrate)
stevia to taste (liquid extract or packets both work fine)

put 1/4 c (cold) water in a bowl and add juice.
pour gelatin and stevia over water and allow gelatin to soften a minute or two.
in the meantime, heat the rest of the water to boiling.
add boiling water and stir well, making sure all the gelatin has dissolved.
let set in fridge.

the less water you add, the chewier the gummi will be.
it's just a matter of walking the fine line between not enough water to melt all the gelatin, and too much water to keep the gummi consistency.

red cabbage and tomato soup.

2009-05-31T18:57:00.004-04:00

omg i love tomato soup. one of the few times that i ever even think about bread anymore is when some lovely, garlicky, tomato-ey soup is involved.

yeah - i think about bread for a split second... and then i think about the lack of insomnia and the lack of seasonal allergies and the abundance of pork fat in my diet, and suddenly the bread doesn't seem all that crucial.

here's a recipe for healing, nourishing tomato soup. i kinda hate those words when used to describe food, but considering all the good things i've been reading about both cabbage (powerhouse of vitamin c!) and bone broth (full of minerals! extra healing for your gut!!), well, i think they apply.

RED CABBAGE AND TOMATO SOUP

1-2 T fat (i used tallow)
2-3 c bone broth/gelatin*
1 5 oz can tomato paste
1-2 t garlic powder (or fresh to taste)
1/2 t crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 t fresh ground black pepper
1 small head red cabbage, grated (the food processor is your friend)

*i made mine by throwing a bunch of pork and beef and lamb bones (which i'd been hoarding in the freezer until i had enough) into the crockpot and letting it go all night.

melt fat and half of the broth/gelatin together.
add the tomato paste, cover, and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally to get out the lumps.
add the spices.
add the cabbage and mix well.
add the rest** of the broth/gelatin and return to a boil.
reduce heat, cover, and simmer until the cabbage is soft, 30 minutes to an hour.

**this is a soup whose density you can control; if it's too thick for you, add some chicken broth or water. if you want it thicker, don't add the whole amount of broth/gelatin.

and of course, as always, you can add meat before you serve it; i imagine diced chicken thighs would be extra tasty.

another delicious option would be hard-boiled eggs, which go particularly well with tomatoes (and with cabbage, for that matter).

thai beef marinade.

2009-05-26T12:59:00.003-04:00

this worked extra-tasty-well on my grilled memorial day kebabs. yum. if you can stand the word, it's zesty!

THAI BEEF MARINADE

4 T lime juice
2 T fish sauce
1/2 T chili garlic sauce
1/2 T powdered ginger

the normal caveats about "the longer the marinating time, the better" and "if you're marinating the beef over 30 minutes, plz refrigerate" of course apply.

brownie batter.

2009-05-20T22:43:00.002-04:00

okay. so this may be the closest thing i've gotten to "brownies" - but full disclosure requires that i admit that i have not yet tried actually baking it.

if you're a cookie-dough kinda person, though, i imagine this will be up your alley.

BROWNIE BATTER

1/4 c coconut oil
1/2 T cocoa
2 packets stevia
1/8 t vanilla
3-4 T coconut flour
1 egg
2-3 T slivered almonds or other nuts (optional)

melt coconut oil and stir in cocoa, stevia, and vanilla.
add coconut flour and mix well, being careful to blend out any lumps.
(optional: add nuts and fold in.)
add egg and mix again.

the batter will seem runny until you add the egg and stir, at which point it will magically seize up, pull together, and get dense like very fudgy brownies. (i.e., the best kind.)

so. dang. good.

carrot saute.

2009-05-19T15:51:00.004-04:00

another quick and tasty side dish.

CARROT SAUTE

1/4-1/3 c fat (preferably poultry fat, but lard or tallow also works)
~1 lb carrots, grated
2-3 T fennel seeds
[salt,] pepper, lemon juice

melt fat in a large pot.
once melty and heated, add fennel seeds and stir until they become fragrant (about 1 minute).
add grated carrots, stirring well to coat in fat.
cover and cook 3-5 minutes, removing lid every so often to stir bottom layer up.
finish with salt, pepper, and lemon juice to taste.

i ate the whole batch at a go, by itself, but i imagine this would be extra tasty with pork chops or chicken.

coco-nut candy.

2009-05-05T09:58:00.004-04:00

it hit me this week that my body does exactly what it's *meant* to do, evolutionarily: crave sugar and store fat.

unfortunately, the *world around me and its food offerings* are *not* playing fair. sigh.

luckily, that's where my big ole expensive-tissue brain comes in: it's all about outsmarting the sweet-tooth. (usually with stevia.)

this recipe is *extremely* rich due to the coconut oil. that's not to say that with the proper attitude, you won't find yourself eating the whole thing at a go :)

COCO-NUT CANDY

1 oz nuts, your choice (macadamias have recently become a favorite, but i've also used pecans and almonds with delicious success)
~2 oz coconut oil, melted
stevia
cinnamon

spread nuts in one layer, in a bowl.
sprinkle with stevia* and cinnamon.
pour coconut oil over nuts.
chill in fridge or freezer.

*careful not to "over-stevia" your nuts - unfortunately, the exact amount will vary depending on what brand and form (liquid extract vs. powder extract vs. bulked powder extract) you're using. if you *do* happen to use too much, this recipe is extremely forgiving: just dilute it by re-melting the coconut oil, adding a little more oil (plus more nuts, if you want), and then re-chilling.

variations: mix ~1T unsweetened cocoa powder in with the coconut oil before you pour it. melting these together in the microwave may help dissolve the cocoa somewhat.

warm apple chicken salad.

2009-03-10T17:35:00.005-04:00

Have I mentioned that i'm a real big fan of the 5-ingredient recipe?

Well, I'm a real big fan of the 5-ingredient recipe. I think that's why Mark Bittman appeals to me so.

At any rate, here's another sweet-and-savory mix that falls right into line.

WARM APPLE CHICKEN SALAD

2 chicken thighs, grilled and chopped
1 c grated carrot
1/2 c apple puree*
1 T coconut oil

Mix all together and warm in the microwave or on the stovetop.

*APPLE PUREE

4 apples, chopped roughly (NOT peeled!)
1-2 T cinnamon

Put apples an cinnamon in a food processor and pulse until blended. Add water as necessary to thin the mixture enough to blend.

green eggs and jam.

2009-02-11T09:50:00.008-05:00

Yet another variant on the micro-nuked-souffle, of which the french toast eggs were the first.

Okay, so if you're a title purist, you could serve it with bacon instead. Either way, though, what's not to love?

But really, folks, no lie: sweet veggies ftw.

GREEN EGGS AND JAM

4 eggs
8 oz frozen chopped spinach*, thawed
1 t pumpkin pie spice
1/2 t vanilla
1/2-1 t liquid stevia extract

*this also works well with broccoli!

Put all ingredients into a blender and whizz well.
Pour into a greased microwaveable bowl and nuke for ~5 minutes or until dry.
Turn out onto a plate, and serve with apple sauce.

cauliflower smoothie.

2009-02-08T09:55:00.003-05:00

Okay, so this is probably the recipe that I've gotten the most grief for. By "grief," I think I mostly mean "fascination," but it's sure taken the form of making fun of me.

I was never a huge dairy person. On top of that, despite my love of all things sweet, I always used to be someone who could sorta take ice cream or leave it. So it came as quite a surprise to me that after going paleo, I developed a sudden acute desire for the cold-and-creamy. I had several run-ins with the sugar-free variety, but the resulting insomnia (ahem and digestive issues ahem) let me know that my body had issues with the milk, and not just the sugar.

I made it my quest to recreate something that could reasonably be mistaken for a member of the frozen dairy family... And I think this recipe just about does it.

CAULIFLOWER SMOOTHIE

3 raw eggs
1/2 - 1 c coconut milk
4 oz frozen cauliflower
1 1/2 t liquid stevia extract (or to taste)
ice

FOR CHOCOLATE MINT VARIANT:

2 T unsweetened cocoa powder
1 t peppermint extract

In a blender, combine wet ingredients (holding out cauliflower and ice) and flavors and blend well. Add cauliflower and blend well, adding extra water or coconut milk to thin as needed. If the mixture gets too thin, add more ice or cauliflower.

Slurp through a straw and think about all those suckers who are drinking shakes from a cow.

mustard dressing.

2009-02-03T17:17:00.004-05:00

This is a super-easy super-licious dressing with nunnadat ick-o HFCS or soy.

MUSTARD DRESSING

2 T prepared German mustard
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
1/2 c olive/flax oil

Mix and shake well.

I haven't tried it, but I imagine this would also make a pretty damned fine marinade, especially for something like chicken (unless you're trying to avoid cooking your olive oil, which - research indicates - may or may not be hazardous to your health).

roasted brussel sprouts.

2009-02-02T11:25:00.006-05:00

I once suggested that brussel sprouts were the candy of vegetables.
If that's true, then roasted brussel sprouts are the chocolate truffles.

ROASTED BRUSSEL SPROUTS

1 lb fresh brussel sprouts, halved
10 cloves garlic*, mash-minced**
olive oil
salt/pepper

*Or more. Remember, there is no such thing as "too much garlic."
**To mash-mince (I'm sure there's a technical term for this, but I can't be buggered to look it up right now) garlic, peel your cloves and lay them flat on a chopping board. Put a large chef's knife flat over them and pound your fist down on the knife (the mash), carefully avoiding the sharp edge. Then coarsely chop the squashed cloves (the mince).

Preheat oven to 400.
In a roasting pan, spread the brussel sprouts and evenly distribute the garlic over them.
Drizzle it all with a liberal amount of olive oil (at least a 1/4 c), and sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste.
Roast, stirring occasionally to (re)distribute the garlic and oil, until the sprouts start to get roasty and caramel-y brown around the edges (about 30-40 minutes).

best roast chicken.

2009-02-01T12:40:00.007-05:00

This is less of a "recipe," per se, and more of a technique, but once you taste it, you'll agree that it needs to be written down. I accidentally stumbled across the method for the perfect-est, most juicy-est baked chicken you've ever tasted - and it's dead simple.

BEST ROAST CHICKEN

your choice assorted chicken parts*, bone-in and skin-on
seasonings of choice (e.g., salt/pepper, a dry rub, or even "naked")

Preheat oven to 250**. (NOT 350!)
Assemble your chicken parts* in a roasting tray or on a baking sheet with high enough sides to catch the rendered fat - just make sure not to crowd the pieces together.
Season chicken to your liking.
Bake for 90 minutes.

*This can also include a butterflied chicken or half-chicken, but I have never tested it with a whole fryer. At any rate, it's worth learning how to butterfly a chicken, since it's super-easy and TOTES fun. The only part of that video I disagree with, technique-wise, is when he cuts off and throws away the backbone (including the pope's nose! the best part!) and the "extra fat that no one will want." Um, hello? What am I, chopped liver??
**Since I'm usually only cooking for 1 or 2, I do this in the toaster oven. Even easier that way.

I guaran-damn-tee you, this chicken will be falling-off-the-bone-juicy-licious. Just don't forget to save the fat for later!

egg pie.

2009-01-31T11:07:00.005-05:00

Here's another egg recipe, but this time a savory one, great for breakfast and dinner alike. This is basically a crustless quiche, and is super quick and easy to make.

You can twist the optional ingredients any one of a thousand ways to suit your fancy. Let your imeggination go wild.

EGG PIE

6 eggs
8 oz frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
6-10 cloves garlic, minced (sauteed or raw)
1/2 medium yellow onion, diced small (sauteed or raw)
salt/pepper to taste

choose from the following:

1/4 c pine nuts (sauteed with the onion and garlic until golden)
1/4 c raisins (soaked in hot water for ~5 minutes and drained)
4-6 oz ground beef (browned and drained)
other

Preheat oven to 350.
Mix any of your chosen optional ingredients with the spinach.
Grease a round pan (preferably glass) and evenly spread the spinach mix on the bottom.
Whisk the eggs, and pour over the spinach mix.
Bake for ~20 minutes, or until center is dry and the pie is fluffy.

Serve this with a mixed green salad and/or bacon.

french toast eggs.

2009-01-30T09:39:00.003-05:00

A lot of people (myself included) found it hard to believe I was able to give up baked goods for this diet. I have an insatiable sweet-tooth, and it's almost a constant struggle to find ways to satisfy it that aren't going to wreck me, inside.

If you're willing to put up with a little butter (possibly substitutable) and stevia, though, this recipe is pretty damned close to tasting like french toast. At least - pretty close to what I remember it tasting like - it's been a while.

FRENCH TOAST EGGS

1 T butter (might be replaceable with coconut oil, etc.)
1 t vanilla extract
1/4-1/2 t cinnamon
1/8-1/4 t stevia extract liquid* (or to taste)
4 eggs

Melt the butter. Add the vanilla, cinnamon, and stevia, and mix well.
Whisk the eggs in until well-incorporated.
Cook** until eggs are dry throughout.

*If you're not restricting natural sugars, you could leave the stevia out and serve the eggs with real maple syrup, applesauce, or berry puree.

**I do all this in the microwave for about 2-3 minutes (for the value-added of seeing the eggs blow up and then deflate again, when you take them out, a la Mr Wizard), but it would be just as easy to pan- or griddle-fry these like you would french toast.

basic red cabbage.

2009-01-29T11:04:00.005-05:00

I feel like I'm earning my Ashkenazi badge, what with cooking cabbage in schmaltz. (My "cab-badge"?)

Serve this with your favorite sausage or cut of meat.

BASIC RED CABBAGE

1/2 yellow or sweet onion, grated*
1 small head red cabbage, grated* (4-6 c)
drippings** from 1-2 chicken fryers or other skin-on poultry (about 1 c)
2-3 T cajun dry rub (optional - it's tasty even without!)

Heat the drippings in a large cover-able pot over medium-high heat. When they are bubbling, add grated onion and cabbage, stirring to evenly distribute the fat. Cover and cook, stirring every so often, until cabbage is soft and color has started to fade (about 30 minutes). Lower heat, mix in dry rub, and cook for another 20-30 minutes.

*Investing in a food processor will make your life so much easier. I seriously have no idea how I lived all those years without one.
**Always, always, ALWAYS save the drippings. Always! From everything! (And did I mention ALWAYS?)

cajun dry rub.

2009-01-29T10:59:00.003-05:00

This rub is adapted (very gently!) from a recipe in the Joy of Cooking. It's great on all kinds of meat, and especially pork.

CAJUN DRY RUB

1 T cracked black pepper
2 t crushed fennel seeds
1 t dried thyme
1 t sweet or hot paprika
1 t dry mustard
1 t garlic powder
1 t ground sage
1/2 t crushed red pepper

syllabus and course reading.

2009-01-29T10:53:00.007-05:00

Many other people have excellent things to say about why we should eat the way we were "designed" to eat (evolutionarily speaking, that is). I won't burden you (yet) with all the links I've acquired which tout the wisdom and evidence in favor of this diet, but here are a few to get you started.

Earth 360: A good intro to why this diet makes sense

Nerdheaven: A good and accessible intro to the components of the diet (including comparisons to other similar diets)

Loren Cordain's Paleo Diet website (please ignore the blatant marketing aspects of the page)

Gary Taubes discusses the received wisdom on diet: "What if it's all been a big fat lie?"